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Sunday, November 25, 2012

The Magic of Speaking Your Truth



Embracing and Living Your TRUTH the first step to Living Authentically and Living your Power!!! 

I've spent a lot of time with self help books...oh have I! I didn't have the easiest childhood. Not because my parents weren't wonderful people who loved and adored me but because we moved around frequently and I was constantly adjusting to new towns, new schools, new ways to dress, new people. No, we weren't a military family, my father was changing professions from a jazz bass player in LA to a PHD in Psychology. We moved around all over the country in the process. So I had never had any long term friends or network of people around. And my parents, also affected by all the moving around, tragically had a very difficult time keeping their marriage working. So, sadly, they divorced when I was 11 years old. I'm an only child so they were pretty much it as far as my family and connections went. Along with our dog...Mojo 

My father was broken hearted and my mother fell into a loss of confidence and strength that devastated her . And worst of all, my mother and I eventually moved very far away from my father so I hardly ever saw him. My father and I were incredibly close so leaving him left me almost irreparably broken. I was flailing everyday trying to keep it together as I moved from Junior High to High School in yet another new school in a new city.  My only grounding anchor, my only safe bubble, my family had exploded and was shattered in front of my eyes. It shook me to my core. I lost my sense of self in those years. Lost my confidence, my self pride, my safety, my courage, my everything. 

It has taken me years, taken me really getting into adult hood and making what seems like endless mistake after mistake,  to really look internally and begin healing the broken pieces inside me. 

And only after a great deal of self reflection, self observation, and self-realization through yoga, meditation, endless self help books, therapy, talks with my father ( and my mother when she was alive), seminars and new age gurus, did I start to see my patterns and repeating issues clearly so I can begin to heal them. I am swimming in them and rebuilding as we speak. There are many things to work on but one little book in the sea of many self help books seemed to break me open somehow and cause a real "breakthrough."

I haven't had many of those kinds of breakthroughs. I'm always jealous of those I hear who had this breakthrough and their life changed over night. For me it's - I have the breakthrough mentally but can't really get the consistant behavior to match up with it. It's one step forward and two steps back. That's why this one little book was so powerful for me. It actually changed me as I was reading it. It caused me to act differently immediately within an hour of putting the book down after just a few pages. And I feel that the change has lasted, is here to stay,  and has most certainly improved my life for the better. The book is called: Know Your Truth, Speak Your Truth, Live Your Truth by Eileen R Hannegan. 

The reason I loved this book so much is that not only does it get to the heart of finding your Truth, but it emphasized the importance of "Speaking Your Truth." Of taking action on your truth and why that step is soooo important. I think it's not uncommon for a woman in a a male dominated profession ( the music business) to keep quite, smile and nod quite often when she is in her professional surrounding. I know I definitely did and it was constantly creating feelings of Anger and Victimization every day. Anger and Victimization are very close relatives, I find that they are always connected to each other in some way.

And it wasn't just in my profession. It was with my mother, my friends, my boyfriends, you name it. I was playing a role, a facade that wasn't me. The people pleaser. The go along to get along....God it's exhausting! And when I wouldn't speak my truth on a myriad of different topics in a myriad of different situations: politics, work, my needs, when I felt disrespected or disregarded etc, I would always walk away and get angry about it later. I would vent to my partner, my mom, my dad, my friends or my journal all the while not doing what I really needed to do which was speak the truth directly to the person or situation concerned.  It's a toxic pattern. Because you bring home all that anger and frustration and dump it on the wrong people or the wrong space.

Now, the other magical thing I discovered was that Speaking Your Truth doesn't mean "Going over there and giving that &%$$%$!!! a piece of my mind!!!" No that is rooted in VictimHood posturing as Powerful. No, the less angry and the more confidently calm and direct you are the better the results!! And the more you're really standing in your personal power. And no one has to hate each other or get in a big fight. Most of the time, I found that whoever the person involved was, was GLAD to do what I needed or asked. All I had to do was ask.

On top of that, you immediately gain RESPECT from the other person. I found that if you keep sending out the signal that you're not going to make waves or make demands, people will kind of roll over you expecting you to just go along with it. And the minute you actually, with poise and grace, or even humor ( very effective at times) make a stand or a request, they instantly fall in line like..."Oh..wow...ok...I didn't think it mattered to you" And now you have shown them differently and they will be different.

So I went from thinking that "Speaking Your Truth" was going to "make others mad" or "make everything uncomfortable" to feeling like "Speaking my Truth" is this amazing way to Live my Truth with Power and Confidence in my life ...I LOVE IT. And it instantly pops the "victimization" bubble. Really!! No joke! That pent up feeling of frustration and lingering anger or rage that builds up after walking away from a situation when you have swallowed your truth just disappears  I mean instantly! Totally transformative! I highly recommend it! It's magically life changing. And Empowering!

At the heart of my issues was the lack of feeling Powerful or Expressing my personal Power. Speaking your Truth just busts you into your Power. Beams you right to it! Life changing! Enjoy!



1 comment:

  1. Amazing how open and introspective you are. I would love to read what your goal(s) is/are, and what level of consciousness or self-contentment you are aiming for. Personally I have had a rough path also, but have learned to find happiness and peace in the midst of the journey

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